How does it feel to be a year behind over something you decided to do on a daily basis.
I swear, I don't know the answer except I really want to catch up.
A year is not enough if you don't feel motivated doing or working on the things you want to accomplish.
I think it's enough talking about the downfall but it's time to talk about getting back up and almost a year since I got my heart broken I think it's about time to talk about how I got my heart broken and how I think I'm doing well on surviving.
Why?
Why did I pick the word "survive."
Simple.
You don't let someone kill your heart and get away with it, you have to fight each day to mend or heal your broken heart all alone.
I may back then it may seem gloomy but as I drew closer to talk about... to be honest I'm not hurt anymore.
I think hurting is different than being angry or being bitter.
I'm bitter, but I'll be alright.
Because I used to hate the sentence "move on."
Yet, eventually some people don't really give you a choice but to move on.
So move on.
There really is no choice.
There is no point of getting stuck or left behind in the past.
One way or another you'll get tired of it and you're just going to say FUCK IT I'M DONE.
Pick up the pieces of your broken heart and think about how to move forward to that.
If that person was selfish enough with their feelings and they only thought about what's best for them... then I think at some point you should too (I mean that's what I learned... the person who you thought gave a damn about you didn't really...so what's the point of crying over it. Get over it. They said NO to you and that's the end of it.)
Anyways,
I miss my grandma again here are 2 photos of us when we ate one night outside at Montana's for dinner.
She was so busy checking out the menu though. LOL.
Funny looking glass.
Oh how I miss being with my grandma. I think this was one of the worst months every in my life.
I was such in so much stress. I couldn't tell anybody because I didn't feel like it.
I didn't even want to open it up, but it was definitely killing me because I feel alone.
And the people I thought that cared about me didn't really give a damn.
But, at least that experience taught me that not everybody is with you when you are in so much stress.
Because they're only there for the surface and for the ride...they are not there with you for life.
So, I'm thankful for a painful experience last year of this month because little did I know my world was about to come crashing down on me...
