I remember this was actually rather traumatizing experience.
Having to attend a social gathering where you know you are not wanted because you the person who broke your heart is there after 2 weeks of not seeing that person.
Anyways, I still decided to go because I had a role that I thought I had to play being chosen.
Now, I think I'm also an "ex" in that category.
Chuckles.
But, anyways for the sake of it and I'm really thankful that a good friend came with me.
What an experience I must say.
I would never ever I told and vowed myself to take part into anything like that.
It's the most awkward, sad and embarrassing moment of my entire existence on planet Earth.
I hope to not have another one of that again.
Anyways, there was nothing much I can do but attend and I had to face it starting at 2 in the afternoon until 9 at night.
You know the feeling were everything was forced and you have to put up an act.
I was just stone cold and tense and my good friend had to keep telling me to relax and chill... because I don't do well over awkward moments.
I don't have the acting skills like you do... to pretend I'm alright.
Recalling everything that happened now... you are a good actor/actress and you props on you for keeping it or holding it together unlike me!
When I think about it I couldn't 'even believe the first thing that come mind was to tell you how beautiful you are.
STUPID.
I should have figured rejection 10x should be enough over some kind of compliment thinking that would get a person back who rejected you.
I should have stopped there.
On the other hand every part of my cell is nice unfortunately I didn't have that much bad blood cells which I wished I did during that time being.
And, having to come back to the reception was even worse.
I wish the ground can just swallow me whole so I can just end that night... LOL.
Seriously though.
On the other hand I did admit to a close friend a part of me and I'm glad that she accepted it, but regardless it was just a sweet gesture of something that was over.
And last, finally that night had to end even though I only got a glimpse of you and wasn't able to talk to you I must admit I still got feelings for you during that time...I missed you a lot but I know I couldn't say it out loud.
