Just 8 days before I turned 23 was probably the most dreadful year for me.
I really loathed it and wished it would just go by already.
I didn't look forward to it nor did I have the energy to be pleasant.
I guess in life you lose a lot of people and sometimes as you grow older you have to amuse yourself by treating yourself because after the age of 12 everything will be different.
I didn't know how it felt like to be single again but then it happened and I almost hated it.
I think the worse thing is to crave a person who is not there anymore.
You often wondered when you are going through the struggle when will it finish and when is the next chapter of your life about to begin.
I had visions, nightmares and memories that I can't help but fight.
I used to hate the thought of seeing that person I was once together with another person, but hey it wasn't my choice for that person to leave but solely them.
It's up to you how to move forward after that because you are no longer tied to them.
I used to think I couldn't love somebody else, but I think you can...differently.
I think there a lot of people to meet still and unfortunately that chapter had to end like that.
I'm not much of a believer of someone coming back to my life because people who have left my life... leave for good.
So, I wasn't very hopeful or optimistic that maybe one day they'll realize that I can still show them the love I can offer.
I wouldn't.
I wasn't born to be a martyr but only for my family.
So, I realized a NO IS A NO.
Why push yourself to them if they don't want you anymore.
It takes awhile to realize that but when you do it's basically a rude awakening.
I can't remember anything important during that day/night of this particular date other than it's another long day.
I probably had another boring day at work and wished it would end.
I believed I'm not 100% doing well as a worker but I have to suck it up.
Anyways, that was the thought that was going through my head.
