The aftermath.
Well, for starters...everything was a blur.
The kind of blur when you just want a month/months to come by as quickly so you don't feel what you just felt that night before because you want it to end.
But, you knew that it won't because the nightmare is actually the reality.
I mean the pain of being used to having someone around.
I can't even think how to build myself after that.
I mean I don't know where to go from there...I couldn't comprehend at the time if I was still in a relationship or if I'm now single.
I even actually searched every meaning of it hoping that maybe by searching I can find my answers.
Although I should have known.
It was over.
That day was the beginning of my 7 weeks of waiting for something to happen or an answer at least.
Of course you had the usual 3 weeks of having a panic attack or pain in your chest because you are waiting for that answer which was; "I'm breaking up with you."
The most devastating sentence ever...I don't know why I held on for that long for an answer but I didn't get one.
I got nothing.
I got silence.
That day was the first day of silence.
How do you thrive on that. I asked myself.
I start asking friends what to do, how to get over it and how to deal with it.
So much advices, but I wasn't following any.
I heard read a book, start your blog again because you are behind, listen to music, get a new hobby, busy yourself.
Just don't think about it.
But do you know how hard not to think about something that you've been thinking all day.
To make it worse my grandma was about to leave in a couple of weeks.
I started sleeping in my grandma's room and cried myself every night.
I didn't even know if I was crying because I was going to miss her badly or I'm crying because I got hurt and it was over for me.
I had no idea what I was really crying for.
I just know I was crying.
I cried myself to sleep and did the same thing in the morning.
I didn't have motivation to work nor make money.
I just wanted to be left alone and go for a mini vacation.
I called in sick a few times and I just wanted to hide from the world.
Until now looking back I can definitely tell myself I've come a long way.
I can't believe it's been a year since that happened.
But hey, life must go on.
One of the hardest part or difficult part of my personal life was over.
