So to start part 2.
I can't remember anything other than another night of crying myself to sleep or being anxious or hurt or everything at the same time.
I even called in sick for quite awhile at work and didn't want to do anything with my life and just hide in my room and sleep there.
I couldn't bear the thought of what ifs and oh wells...
I missed that person quite a lot for the next couple of weeks.
But, I think it was just a reflex.
A reflect because you were so used to being with someone for a long time that it seems like it's been a part of you.
Then something drastic happens and its' called: CHANGE.
Change happens when you least expect it and sometimes you are not even open up to it.
Now, looking back the change that happened to me brought me into a position of self discovery.
Self discovery of what it feels like to be contented on your own again.
That when the the time comes I can or will open my heart again.
I have to admit that when people try to be close to me I push them away always reminded by one person how easily it is to lose trust and get hurt.
I am always reminded of a particular group of people that I can never be certain of and ended up comparing new people that come to my life over someone that destroyed me.
I also analyzed how it was my fault.
But, as both answer would be: "we are both humans."
We are humans who both make mistakes and end up hurting each other for our own good.
So yeah, I deeply agree "we are very much unhealthy for each other."
One thing, I regret not having to say everything I felt about you when I had the chance.
If only time has a way of giving back then I wish to say everything that I didn't say last year.
I've always asked myself how would I be a year later after what had happened. I am proud of myself for using all the negativity and the broken pieces of myself to rebuild everything I lost.
I told myself I will better myself before I'm ready to commit again but for now I'm going to work on myself and lead a solo life.
I decided to do a lot of things for 2014.
I change my mindset.
LOOK FORWARD.
I told myself that each day I will look forward to a brand new day so I will crave enthusiasm to face everyday as a brand new day.
At first it didn't really hit me yet, but after 2 months it did.
to be continued...
