I shouldn't let a little drawback from bringing me down.
I may have a little bit of a flashback over something painful during the last 2 days or so, but I shouldn't go back to how I was before.
Last year was a game changer and it has so many ups and downs but one thing I couldn't forget was the Christmas party we had during this day.
My ootd before I got ready.
First time finally bought HUF Socks.. not saying I really am a big supporter of the MJ movement, but this socks are funky.
Crewneck I bought from FOOSH at whyte ave.
A really cool one too.
Finally my ootn. Thanking Ate Jeremmie for helping me put these outfit also on my 23rd birthday.
"Time heals all and heels hurt to walk in"-Drake
The gang at the hundred bar kitchen and grill:
L-R: Chris, Jane, me, Ate Dianne, Kuya Paolo, Anele and Ate Christine
Kuya Paolo and I.
Raymon and I.
Jomari and I.
Chris and I.
Jane, Raymon, me and Junbelle
Junbelle and I.
The three blind mice.
L-R: Jane, me and Anele
What I ordered.
Ate Jeremmie with Anele.
The ladies.
Finished the night with a surprised 23rd birthday cake.
Very thankful to these people.
Our limousine and the winter outside but still rocking the attire.
Also after the dinner went to Club XO.
walking down the street of downtown.
What a night.
To reflect on that moment I think I have mixed emotions. I mean every birthday spent is different/ christmas party.
It may seem like you've gone through a lot of loss in your life, but at the end of the day there are still people in your life that are here for you when you needed them the most.
It may not be the people who you think will be there for you, but never forget that there are people that will help you make it throughout whatever struggle you are going through.
I remembered I'm not a 100% happy during that night, maybe the thought of someone from my past thinking maybe things would have gone differently or being reminded that I didn't want to ruin my night but thinking about someone who still belonged but I had to control myself.
I remember getting a text at almost 2 in the morning and falling asleep and thinking I missed my chance of talking to someone special to me, but then I wasn't always given the chance to be able to fix what is lost or what is gone into something that can be made whole again.
But some things will be left broken if two people don't do anything or put in the effort anyways.
Yeah, it sucks losing someone whom you taught meant a lot to you but it teaches you to grow up too.
It teaches you that people have the choice to stay in your life and if they don't then you don't have any control over that. Let them go as they have let you go... that's the best way to love them if it's the distance.
I hated it trust me, I've become angry, jealous, needy, helpless, sad, guilty, disgusted of myself and I pitied myself for a long time why I didn't received the love others have had.
Maybe, its not my time yet. Maybe I'm a bad person who doesn't deserve it yet until I learn the lessons I have to learn.
It's hard to find the good in goodbye and until now I'm still looking for it.
What can I say it's not easy even though it's been a year already.
