I can't remember who I ate in Kyoto with exactly during this date of last year.
But I've never been to Kyoto anymore after for awhile.
I have so many memories in this Japanese Restaurant that I find it haunting coming back to this place.
A mixture of sadness and happiness covered with anger and devastated feeling.
Feelings of regret, disappointment, disgusted and also missing someone who you love to eat with here... probably never anymore.
But, I always tell myself I shouldn't stop eating sashimi just because it reminds me of one person.
I still ate at different Japanese restaurants all over the city, but with friends.
At first it was hard to eat Japanese food because I'm so used to going on and eating lunch or dinner with you..but then I had to pinch myself at what reality is...I'm single.
We're not together anymore and there is no point being sad over someone who left me... for unknown reasons I still don't know.
Reasons I'm never gonna know for the rest of my life.
I don't really seek for any answers anymore, but there are just days where you would just do anything just to find out why someone can break up with you even though you gave your all, but I wouldn't really know the other end.
I admit I was that much of a pussy to seek my own closure with you, so here I am and it's been a year already and sometimes when I see someone who reminds me of you I get reminded of how easily it is to get hurt or taken advantage of leaving your heart bleeding to the point where you don't even know if you can revive it.
The same heart that took me 8 months to repair and still an ongoing process.
I'm not angry anymore, there is no point of harboring and nurturing the anger in my heart because it just backfires to me... So, I just pray each night that I forgive and be forgiven and find peace and be patient enough to wait as to who deserves me in their life and who I deserve in my life.
No more bitterness but one day I hopefully I can tell myself I'm better than before.
