Last year pigged out eating this at work... never again. Man, the sight of too much food makes me vomit nowadays. LOL.
Last year bought the Marshall Mathers LP 2.
Muy Bueno.
Anyways, what else is there to talk about.
Oh here's one. I used to not care before because I was in a relationship or "had the experience" of being in a relationship, but when you're single you can't help but feel lonely or jealous because other people have a particular person in their life they can be proud off or more likely their partner and you know all the happy things about being in love.
Yes, I could say I partially took mine for granted, but I would be stupid if I didn't say I wasn't taken for granted too because I knew I was.
Man, happiness comes in many shapes and forms from family and friends, but there is just something so different when you are in a relationship. I guess breakups can cause people to become angry, bitter and cold and that's what has become of me. I have become angry, bitter and cold.
I guess, that's immaturity kicking in of not knowing what to do in situations when they are not in your favor.
I can't help but be bitter about other people's happiness because I was in search of my own too...
Sometimes the nights would drag, mixing from nights when you go to sleep angry, sad, emotional and even worse impatient as to when is your turn to find another match again... idk maybe a match that can finally complement you in the long run.
But there is just so many things to learn in life and the moment you thought you knew someone for over a course of 2 years is not enough foundation for something to break. It will crumble trust me because the foundation is not sturdy.
Trust me because I know.
I made myself the test subject, the guinea pig or the lab rat.
And the outcome of that is someone so damage they couldn't even fix me proper anymore.
Been feeling like a bad person or the antagonist of a movie for about a year now.
I went to being the victim to being the hated one.
Only because my anger became my poison and I swallowed the whole bottle whole because I mean what else is there too lose.
It will numb the pain.
Indeed it numb the pain, but in turn I hurt and hated more people around me.
So, I understand if people want to distance their selves around me because I'm not worthy of people's existence, because I let one person ruin my sense of compassion and my good heart and turn me into a cold hollowed bricked statue.
That's the remnants of 2013 that I carried in throughout 2014.
I'm not going to thank that person for turning me into a cannibal that I am, but instead I'm not going to point my personal errors but blame myself.
I am the main root of my problem and I wish to avoid and meet new people in my life in fear of another repeat of 2012-2013.
