As I try to remember everything that had happened the night before I felt like it was a one hell roller coaster hell of a ride of emotions. Sometimes you can't just run away from life and sometimes events are the most surprising things that some of us can be left speechless.
One minute your hurting, the next minute your all confused and don't know what's going on.
This is probably a tragedy because it's not benefiting us as much as it should be.
It was just hella confusing. I mean until now if I think about it I feel really confused thinking about what had happened.
So, I guess the person who 7 weeks earlier broke my heart thinks it's OK to start over from the beginning.
But, how do 2 people with history start over?
I don't think you can, because you have history with each other.
I mean I think because I was still in love that time that I think it was the right thing and it will work out... truth be told... it was far from that.
Maybe, we both broke each others heart...We did a matter of fact.
How can you keep running back to the same person who broke your heart?
Because you love them?
Or you don't love them?
Do you care enough?
or did they care enough?
Until now it's still a mystery.
I thought it was peace. It was done. It was OK. Everything will be alright.
A matter of fact I had that sense of calming feeling that at least me and you are talking again...
I just didn't know deep down I'm starting to get bitter and disgusted because you broke my heart...
but I tried my best to forgive you, because maybe I still love you...
I thought maybe Lord sent an early Christmas present because that's what's Christmas is about, but it isn't...
I should have known.
I can probably keep on ranting or venting out here about what you did to me or what happened to us, but there isn't really any point anymore because I'm just someone from your past and you are too.
We both made that choice that you wanted me in your past and despite I don't want you in my past I have too because you made that decision for me.
And growth is the outcome of all of these.
There will be a lot more things to experience in life...
Believe me...
So even though I catch myself thinking of you once in awhile I can't help but learn the few new traits I have developed after what had happened to us.
Should I thank you for it. I think... Yes.
I mean good or bad it's something we should always be thankful of.
I don't know what had happened to you after that I wish I knew but I'm not part of your life anymore I forgot.
I almost.
Every time I think about I just smile sometimes knowing that at one point of my life it made my heart beat and it made me smile.
The nights you wish were you can just be like damn, I miss talking that person... but then you find yourself saying nevermind... I forgot this what happened.
Such a weird way of living life sometimes.
It's so twisted... thought you'd found your other half... then your left with just half again in thinking will you ever find it again or find a new one or another one...
I don't know... only time can tell.
